Colorado Springs Functional Medicine

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10 Weight Loss Lessons From The Biggest Loser

Sara VanceI’ve reached out for some help with the content on the site.  I’m lucky to have an article written by Nutritionist Sara Vance, author of the book The Perfect Metabolism Plan. A regular guest on Fox 5 San Diego, you can see many of Sara’s segments on her media page. She also offers corporate nutrition, school programs, consultations, and affordable online eCourses. Download her free 40+ page Metabolism Jumpstart eBook here.  If she looks and sounds familiar to you, she was the amazing host of The Metabolism Summit.  Need a refresher?  Click here.

 

Have you seen the press lately about The Biggest Loser Show?  Articles like this one in the New York Times have been reporting that many contestants have gained back significant amounts of weight.

I am not surprised.  Over 80% of people who lose weight on a diet – gain it back (and often then some).  This is because most diets have several critical flaws. And because The Biggest Loser is kind of like a diet on steroids – the normal diet mistakes seem magnified.

But The Times article painted a pretty hopeless picture, saying that the reason that they gained back the weight is because the metabolism slows down when you lose a lot of weight.  So the logical conclusion is – since it is impossible to maintain that amount of weight loss, why even try?

HOLD UP.  Just hold up one second.

Lets look at that a little more closely. Yes, there is some truth to the fact that a 300 pound person’s metabolism is just naturally working harder than a 150 person’s metabolism. Think about it this way – if a 150 pound man is given a backpack with 150 pounds of rocks in it to carry around all day long, sure – his metabolism will have to work harder – to do everything. Walking up a flight of stairs would be more like hiking up a steep mountain.  Everything he does while carrying that 150 backpack would take more effort and burn more energy. His heart will pump harder, his lungs will work harder, etc.

So I will concede that point.

However, we also have to consider the fact that the metabolism slows down not just because someone loses weight, but also how they lose the weight…

10 WEIGHT LOSS LESSONS FROM THE BIGGEST LOSER (AND MOST DIETS):

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Weight Loss like Vuarnet France

The topic that I have fielded the most questions and conversations about over the past few weeks has been regarding weight loss.  Maybe because I’m skinny (I like to call it lean).  Maybe because I used to be the fat kid (or ‘husky’ as I was told when I was younger).  I heard the word husky so much I thought it was a brand of clothing.  When we would go school shopping, we would always look for the ‘husky’ jeans.  When school would start up and everyone was checking out each other’s school digs, I would brag that I wore ‘huskies.’  In my mind it was as popular as Bugle Boy, Vuarnet France, and Jams.

Just like the brands of the 80s are out of business, so is the 80’s ideal weight equation of calories in + calories out = ability to wear acid washed tight-rolled jeans.

Calorie expenditure minus calorie intake is good in theory for weight loss but in today’s world of massive toxicities, inflammatory lifestyles, and emotional roller coasters, it just doesn’t work anymore.  Maybe it never did.  The past 40 years, the nation has gone low fat, no fat, light calorie, and no calorie and for the first time in history of the US, the number of obese people outnumber the overweight.

Let’s get past the dumbed down, calorie counting, weight loss formula and take a look at some areas of your weight loss journey that aren’t addressed.

You Are Exercising Too Much

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The Hunger Conspiracy

I hate to even use the word conspiracy, as it lays claim that someone or some group is doing something malicious on purpose and trying to cover it up.  But the more I see campaigns surrounding feeding the hungry, the more I feel something weird going on beneath the surface.

I’m not denying there are people that don’t get enough food or there are many that go to bed hungry.  But are Americans really dying from starvation?  Hunger and starvation are different beasts.  Is there a problem that is bigger but being brushed under the carpet?  Is the media tugging at our heart strings to appease the people that pay their salaries?

Back in 2012, there was a report in Lancet (a British Medical Journal), called the Global Burden of Disease that reported obesity as now a bigger problem than hunger, except for sub-Sahara Africa.  This report also has a LOT of controversy around it.  I haven’t dug too deep but I think there’s one industry that is the spear head of the controversy, or dare I say it…conspiracy.

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Top 5 Ways to Lose Weight…Guaranteed

One of the most searched items on the internet is how to lose weight.  Instead of searching through all the diets, workout programs, and supplement regimes, I have decided to be a knowledge broker for you and give you my ‘Top 5 Ways to Lose Weight…Guaranteed.’  Guaranteed means guaranteed.

If you don’t like the outcomes, you can get a full refund of the weight you lost.  Some will work quicker than others but all of them are very effective and only 1 of them will cost you money directly.

Before

1. Stop Eating

What happens when you don’t give your body the nutrients and calories that it requires to operate on a daily basis?  The weight just falls off.  This may take some time and won’t always be pleasant but the sky is the limit.  Want to get back into those Bugle Boy jeans you wore in 8th grade?  What better way than restricting any and all calories.

If you don’t have the will power or you feel you need accountability, you can head to south central LA and start yelling racial slurs.  There will be plenty of people that will bash your face in, making it nearly impossible for you to chew food or even open your mouth.  The best part of this plan is that you will save thousands of dollars on your food bill. All that money saved can be re-invested into your life insurance policy since you’ll be needing it in the near future.

2. Chop Off Body Parts

If you’ve ever seen the movie Jerry Maguire, you know the human head weighs 8-12 pounds. Chopping off your head is just plain ridiculous and only losing 10 pounds doesn’t move the interest needle very far.  Instead, choose a non-essential, heavy body part.

According to the book Human Body Dynamics: Classical Mechanics and Human Movement by Aydin Tozeren, the average percentage of weight for each body part is as follows:

• Trunk (Chest, back and abdomen) – 50.80%
• Thigh – 9.88%
• Head – 7.30%
• Lower leg – 4.65%
• Upper arm – 2.7%
• Forearm – 1.60%
• Foot – 1.45%
• Hand – 0.66%

Just think about it, you’re 200 lbs and wanting to get down to a cool 170, the fastest route is to cut off a leg.  Between your thigh and lower leg, that’s easily close to 30 lbs.  Depending on your tool of choice, that could be as quick as 3 minutes.  Fast and effective.  There’s no way you need 127 hours to get these results like Aron Ralston did in the middle-of-no-where Utah.

3. Cocaine and Meth

Have you ever noticed there’s rarely ever a fat or obese person portrayed in the movies or TV that is addicted to cocaine or meth?  Look at all the rock stars, movie stars, and athletes that admit to having a cocaine or meth addiction.  Skinny, skinny, and skinny.  The longer you use it, the better the meth_lipstickweight loss results…GUARANTEED!!

The added benefit is that these drugs are also appetite suppressants so if you like option #1, this can be a great adjunct for quicker results.  Not to mention as your teeth fall out, it’s hard to chew food.  Plus those teeth are just added weight anyway.  In weight loss, “every ounce counts.”

If you can’t afford the high cost of cocaine or meth, you might be able to get your doctor to prescribe a drug for ADHD.  Same difference, right?  Best of all, your insurance pays for it.  Win-Win.

4. Blood Letting

You have too much blood anyway, you can afford to get rid of some.  According to a UC San Diego study, the average blood draw burns 650 calories.  “A pint’s a pound, the world around.”  Not only are you losing a pound at each donation, you increase your calorie burning capacity.  The hangup is that donating often is tricky.  They try and make you wait like 53 days.  Only losing 1 pound every 53 days is only almost 7 pounds in a year.  You’re looking for 7 pounds per week.

Imagine if you donated 2x week, once on each arm.  Weight loss jackpot.  If the nurse is concerned that you just donated blood because of the needle marks on your arm, just tell her “Chill out, it’s been 53 days since my last donation.  Those needle marks are from heroine…I’m trying to watch my weight.  Gotta be healthy to donate blood, right?”

5. Parasites

Tapeworm-dietThis might be the best of all because you can eat all you want, the parasite just steals it from you.  It works as the same premise as option #1 except you can eat all you want and never have a regret.  You can look pretty on the outside and not worry about the inside.

Honestly, I thought this was a little far fetched until my wife asked me yesterday, “have you heard of the tape worm diet?”  Apparently, I’m late to the game.  Just like when I thought Red Box was a stupid idea.  Seriously, just google the tape worm diet.  Apparently it’s been around for a LONG time.  People already willfully ingest tape worms to allow the parasite to aid them in the pursuit of life, liberty, and the consumption of excessive, guiltless calories.  God bless ‘Merica.

In our society’s craze for the next weight loss strategy, don’t confuse weight loss with health loss.  Just remember, dying early with less weight is not a successful outcome.  If the diet or routine seems sketchy, it probably is, even when it’s ‘doctor supervised.’